With the Christmas period well and truly upon us, it is nigh on impossible not to have some feelings (good or bad) about the festivities of the next couple of weeks. For some this part of the year will be filled with family gatherings & time with friends; whilst for others it’s a time of year that can feel incredibly lonely. For those of us in recovery from addiction, both situations present their own unique challenges.
With that in mind we’ve prepared for you 5 top tips for navigating the Christmas period in recovery.
Plan Ahead and Set Boundaries
It can be much easier to anticipate situations that might challenge our recovery, such as parties or family gatherings where alcohol or drugs might be present, than to deal with those challenges in the moment once they present themselves to us.
Communicate your boundaries with friends and family, and don’t hesitate to say no to events or activities that feel risky. If you’re feeling uncomfortable about attending, it may be that your instincts are telling you it’s not a good idea to go.
It's also important to remember that you do not have to justify your decision not to partake in drink/drugs. Practice phrases like "not for me thanks" or "I'm ok, but you go for it!" even diverting the conversation if necessary. Remember that it is only you that is hyper-aware, most people will be too busy thinking about themselves or the surroundings to notice.
As I was myself told some time ago “No.” is a full sentence, you don’t owe an explanation for turning down something you don’t want to do.
Stay Connected to Your Support Network
In times which are particularly challenging, for whatever reason, the adage “Connection is the opposite of addiction” rings strong & true and we can endeavour to stay connected as a precaution; we don’t have to wait until we feel under pressure.
Reach out to your sponsor, recovery group, or trusted individuals regularly. Attend extra meetings if needed and stay engaged with recovery-focused activities, whether online or in person.
If you do find yourself at a loose end, there are community groups and activities in every town seeking willing volunteers and attendees. Helping out can be a great way to feel a part of something and gives a purpose to attending, easing the anxiety around turning up and saying hello for some.
If you don’t attend fellowship meetings for the rest of the year, there’s nothing wrong with dropping in over Christmas for an hour with like-minded people.
Have an Exit Strategy
If we do find ourselves in a situation which we’re not comfortable or we’ve just had enough, being able to leave isn’t just important it’s essential.
There are a few things we can do “pre-game” to make this easier:
· Drive yourself or arrange independent transport so you can leave any situation that feels uncomfortable. We don’t want to be waiting on someone else so we can go.
· Create a simple excuse to exit politely if you feel triggered or overwhelmed.
· Let a trusted person know that you’ll be attending, and you might give them a quick call on your way home. Checking in on your way back can be a great way to unload any negative emotion or celebrate if things have gone well!
Recovery comes first so don’t be afraid of the French Goodbye. We can nominate one person and let them know we’ll be leaving to avoid a long round of question & answer or just quietly slip off.
The French Goodbye - “the custom of going away from a reception, etc. without taking leave of the host or hostess. Hence, jocularly, to take French leave is to go away, or do anything, without permission or notice”
Oxford English Dictionary
Prioritize Self-Care
Stick to your recovery routine, including proper sleep, exercise, and healthy eating. If it ain’t broke, Christmas isn’t the time to start fixing it. We’ve likely developed our own personalised, tried and trusted process for managing our self-care needs in recovery, a process which will have been practiced for just this moment when we might really need it. Keep up the good work to keep safe.
We might even want to try adding in something new. Taking time for activities that help you relax and stay grounded, such as meditation, journaling, or spending time with supportive loved ones can be of great help.
Focus on Gratitude and Goals
At times when it may be easy to focus on things we don’t do any more, a real tangible benefit can be felt in reflecting on how far we’ve come and celebrating progress.
Whether you choose to scribble down 3 items or 10, spending some time on a gratitude list can be a great tool for taking stock of where we are at currently and what we have in our lives that’s good.
Keep your recovery goals front and centre by setting small, achievable milestones to maintain momentum over the holiday season. On the 23rd December we don’t need to spend time worrying about the events of Christmas Day to come, or what will happen on New Year’s eve, the most important goal every day is to get to bed that night without a drink or drug in our system.
To conclude…
Christmas is a time to be enjoyed by all and recovery doesn’t mean that ends. Not drinking or using drugs doesn’t mean we can’t take part in whatever form of celebration we’re comfortable with. We begin by putting in place whatever measures we find to be necessary and then take part as much or as little as we like.
If you have other suggestions or tips for plotting a safe course through the festivities, we’d love to hear them. Drop them in the comments for others to read.
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