"It was like this cycle of me and my partner. She'd go to rehab, I'd go to prison. We just went round and around – each time it got worse and worse. And each time we'd use more drugs and do more crime."
As a volunteer in recovery services, Tony travels extensively around the region offering support to people going through recovery. His own journey has been long and difficult, taking him through a cycle of drug use, crime, prison, homelessness, rehab and relapse.
Tony's first experiences with drugs came in his early teens.
"I got into the rave scene. I used to sneak out in the middle of the night and go down to the club. And that was the first time I took acid, on one of these little excursions. Didn't see it as a big deal, just a night with your mates, having a laugh. I started to try other stuff – cannabis, amphetamines, mushrooms. Then at 15, I tried heroin and my life changed overnight."
Tony's addiction developed quickly. He took to crime to fund his drug habit which brought him into conflict with the police. He found himself first in a remand home and then in prison at the age of 21.
"Prison wasn't enough to stop me using drugs. When I left, I went straight back to heroin. That was when I was living on the streets – a really dark time in my life. It was just a cycle of prison, get released, drugs, go back on the streets, back to prison, back to the streets."
Repeated spells in prison did little to help Tony's rehabilitation.
"In prison, you meet the worst people – the ones you really shouldn't be going around with. By 2015, I was selling quite a lot of drugs, involved in some very dodgy stuff. I introduced my partner to crack and heroin – something I have to live with daily, knowing that I set her onto that path."
In 2019, with Tony and his partner in prison, both recognised that things had to change.
"I was either going to go to prison for a long time or I was going to be in a box under the ground. I didn't think there was another option. So I made a decision and I moved to a drug recovery unit in the prison.
It was a lot of very deep stuff – stuff you just wouldn't speak about in everyday life, but you get the opportunity to offload all that. Sharing my story, the lighter I feel, the easier it comes. The first time I shared, I was dripping with sweat and shaking, but now it's second nature. This is who I am."
Now Tony is helping others to share their stories of addiction.
"You're not the first person to have these problems. So many people have gone before you and asked for help. So just don't think you're alone in it. The truth is, people want you to do well. Just go to a meeting, speak to people, Google it. There's so much out there."
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